%1001 Any technology sufficiently advanced is indistinguishable from magic. CLARKE'S THIRD LAW %1002 Everything should be as simple as possible, but not simpler. ALBERT EINSTEIN %1003 There ain't no sense worrying about what you can control, because if you can control it, there ain't no sense worrying about it, and there ain't no sense worrying about what you can't control, because if you can't control it, there ain't no sense worrying about it. MICKEY RIVERS %1004 We have met the enemy, and they is us. POGO (WALT KELLY) %1005 If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane. JIMMY BUFFET %1006 I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. JOHN LENNON %1007 A little patience goes a long way. Too much patience goes nowhere. ANONYMOUS %1008 It is better to laugh about your problems than to cry about them. OLD JEWISH PROVERB %1009 Nothing is foolproof, because fools are so ingenious. ANONYMOUS %1010 It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him. J.R.R. TOLKIEN %1011 A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you'll look forward to the trip. ANONYMOUS %1012 Behold the turtle, he makes progress only when his neck is out. DR. JAMES B. CONANT, HARVARD UNIV. PRESIDENT %1013 Don't claim that you know everything- besides not being true, it's very irritating to those of us who do. ANONYMOUS %1014 We are too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet. ANONYMOUS %1015 I've got to start acting more sensible--TOMORROW! SNOOPY (CHARLES SCHULTZ) %1016 There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over. MESKIMEN'S LAW %1017 I'm sick and tired of this machine, I wish that they would sell it. It never does just what I want, But only what I tell it. ANONYMOUS %1018 Before I started working here I drank, smoked, and used foul language for no reason at all. But thanks to this job, I now have a reason. ANONYMOUS %1019 Practice does not make perfect; perfect practice makes perfect. VINCE LOMBARDI %1020 Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy. ANONYMOUS %1021 Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both no and yes. J.R.R. TOLKIEN %1022 Alas, "should" is not "would". ANONYMOUS %1023 The best way to inspire fresh thoughts is to log off or run the program. ANONYMOUS %1024 Scientists study the world as it is, engineers create the world that never has been. THEODORE VON KARMAN %1025 Chance favors only the prepared mind. LOUIS PASTEUR %1026 Everybody is ignorant, only in different subjects. WILL ROGERS %1027 To think is to differ. CLARENCE DARROW %1028 Imagination is more important than knowledge. ALBERT EINSTEIN %1029 An inventor is simply a fellow who doesn't take his education too seriously. CHARLES F. KETTERING %1030 Common sense is not so common. VOLTAIRE %1031 Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them. ANONYMOUS %1032 You can observe a lot just by watching. YOGI BERRA %1033 I am a great believer in luck. The harder I work, the more of it I seem to have. COLEMAN COX %1034 Some things have to be believed to be seen. RALPH HODGSON %1035 There are no foolish questions, and no man has become a fool until he stops asking questions. CHARLES P. STEINMETZ %1036 Seek simplicity, and distrust it. ALFRED NORTH WHITEHEAD %1037 Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things that escape those who dream only at night. EDGAR ALLAN POE %1038 It is better to wear out than to rust out. BISHOP RICHARD CUMBERLAND %1039 There are two kinds of failures: the man who will do nothing he is told, and the man who will do nothing else. PERLE THOMPSON %1040 Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you. SATCHEL PAIGE %1041 What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered. RALPH WALDO EMERSON %1042 A scientist can discover a new star, but he cannot make one. He would have to ask an engineer to do it for him. GORDON L. GLEGG %1043 A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices. EDWARD R. MURROW %1044 An engineer is an unordinary person who can do for one dollar what any ordinary person can do for two dollars. ANONYMOUS %1045 Use logic to decide between alternatives, not to initiate them. ANONYMOUS %1046 Statistics are no substitute for judgement. HENRY CLAY %1047 Short words are best and the old words when short are best of all. SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL %1048 He who will not reason, is a bigot; He who cannot, is a fool; And he who dares not, is a slave. WILLIAM DRUMMOND %1049 Money is a stupid measurement of achievement but unfortunately it is the only universal measurement we have. CHARLES P. STEINMETZ %1050 I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Indeed, unless the billboard falls, I'll never see a tree at all. OGDEN NASH %1051 The man who graduates today and stops learning tomorrow is uneducated the day after. NEWTON D. BAKER %1052 Education is what you have left over after you have forgotten everything you have learned. ANONYMOUS %1053 A child is highly creative until he starts to school. STANLEY CZURLES %1054 The test of tolerance comes when we are in a majority; The test of courage comes when we are in a minority. RALPH W. STOCKMAN %1055 "I must do something" will always solve more problems than "something must be done". ANONYMOUS %1056 .......but the breadboard worked ANONYMOUS CUSTOMER .......but your salesman said........... ANONYMOUS CUSTOMER %1057 O sibili si ergo Fortibusis in ero Nobili demis trux Sevatis enim Cousendux ANONYMOUS %1058 Although a wise man might urge that one suffer fools gladly, this should not be construed as a license for any fool to demand that one do so. FREDRICK WILLIAM KANTOR %1059 Knowledge is the only instrument of production that is not subject to diminishing returns. J.M. CLARKE %1060 When you lose your power to laugh, you lose your power to think straight. JEROME LAWRENCE & ROBERT E. LEE %1061 The savage bows down to idols of wood and stone: the civilized man to idols of flesh and blood. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW %1062 Common sense is that layer of prejudices which we acquire before we are sixteen. ALBERT EINSTEIN %1063 Science is nothing but developed perception, interpreted intent, common sense rounded out and minutely articulated. GEORGE SANTAYANA %1064 If we do not permit the earth to produce beauty and joy, it will not produce food either. JOSEPH WOOD KRUTCH %1065 Order and creativity are complimentary. LEWIS MUMFORD %1066 No doubt equality of goods is just; but, being unable to cause might to obey justice, men have made it just to obey might. Unable to strengthen justice, they have justified might; so that the just and the strong might unite, and there would be peace, which is the sovereign good. PASCAL %1067 One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. ELBERT HUBBARD %1068 Nothing is more terrible than activity without insight. THOMAS CARLYLE %1069 The important thing is never to stop questioning. ALBERT EINSTEIN %1070 When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is most probably wrong. CLARKE'S FIRST LAW %1071 The feeble minded are people who know the truth, but only affirm it as consistent with their own interests. Apart from that, they denounce it. PASCAL %1072 There is no one cause more mysterious than another, if we look into it. LEIGH HUNT %1073 A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. SAMUEL BUTLER %1074 The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed. ALBERT EINSTEIN %1075 The great political tugs of the past 35 years have concerned the distribution of the golden eggs. In the 1980's and 1990's we must focus on the health of the goose. PAUL TSONGAS %1076 Morality is simply the attitude we adopt to people we personally dislike. OSCAR WILDE %1077 How wonderful that we have met with a paradox. Now we have some hope of making progress. NIELS BOHR %1078 Don't ever take a fence down until you know the reason it was put up. G.K. CHESTERTON %1079 He who knows nothing, loves nothing. He who can do nothing understands nothing. He who understands nothing is worthless. PARACELSUS %1080 There are two ways to slide easily through life; to believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking. ALFRED KORZYBSKI %1081 Cream rises to the top. So does fat. KELVIN THROOP III %1082 Only a mediocre person is always at his best. W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM %1083 Yes quaint and curious war is, You shoot a fellow down; You'd treat if met where any bar is Or help to half a crown. ? %1084 Here lies a toppled god; His fall was not a small one. We did but build his pedestal-- A narrow and a tall one. TLEILAXU EPIGRAM FRANK HERBERT, "DUNE MESSIAH" %1085 What does it avail a man to gain a fortune and lose his soul? JIMMY MESSINA, from the Bible %1086 Sometimes work comes from inspiration, but more often inspiration comes from work. ANONYMOUS %1087 Everyone must believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink. W.C. FIELDS %1088 The only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not sufficient warrant. JOHN STUART MILL, "ON LIBERTY" %1089 But let your communications be Yea,yea; nay,nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil. MATTHEW 5:37 %1090 The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps. BENJAMIN DISRAELI %1091 Parties who want milk should not seat themselves on a stool in the middle of a field in hope that the cow will back up to them. ELBERT HUBBARD %1092 We shape our buildings, and forever afterwards our buildings shape us. WINSTON CHURCHILL %1093 We don't inherit the Earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children. DAVID BROWER %1094 The world is very different now. For man holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty... JOHN F. KENNEDY %1095 All good things which exist are the fruits of originality. JOHN STUART MILL %1096 Greater than the tread of mighty armies is the idea whose time has come. VICTOR HUGO %1097 Creativity is the art of taking a fresh look at old knowledge. ANONYMOUS %1098 Important ideas are those that lie within the allowable scope of nature's laws. ANONYMOUS %1099 Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE %1100 Observation, not age, brings wisdom. ANONYMOUS %1101 The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled. PLUTARCH %1102 The probability is that tomorrow will not be an extrapolation of today. ERNEST C. ARBUCKLE %1103 You may not, cannot, appropriate beauty. It is the wealth of the eye, and a cat may gaze upon the king. THEODORE PARKER %1104 Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving words in evidence of the fact. GEORGE ELLIOT %1105 A little experience often upsets a lot of theory. CADMAN %1106 Money never starts an idea; it is the idea that starts the money. W.J. CAMERON %1107 The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the betterment of life. HENRY FORD %1108 If an army of monkeys were strumming on typewriters, they MIGHT write all the books in the British museum. SIR ARTHUR EDDINGTON %1109 Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you, and just before you realize what's wrong with it. ANONYMOUS %1110 The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others. DOUG LARSON %1111 If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. ABRAHAM MASLOW %1112 Every adult needs a child to teach; it's the way adults learn. FRANK A. CLARK %1113 The hours that make us happy make us wise. JOHN MASEFIELD %1114 Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions. A.A. LATIMER %1115 Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face. VICTOR HUGO %1116 The man who insists on seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. HENRI FREDRIC AMIEL %1117 By appreciation, we make excellence in others our own property. VOLTAIRE %1118 One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making new discoveries. A. A. MILNE %1119 It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed. GOETHE %1120 When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not. MARK TWAIN %1121 School is a building that has four walls- with tomorrow inside. LON WATTERS %1122 I believe that genius is an infinite capacity for taking life by the scruff of the neck. CHRISTOPHER QUILL %1123 In the long run the pessimist may be right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip. DANIEL L. REARDON %1124 Age is a high price to pay for maturity. TOM STOPPARD %1125 The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery. MARK VAN DOREN %1126 Too much of a good thing is wonderful. MAE WEST %1127 Originality is the art of concealing your source. FRANKLIN P. JONES %1128 On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time. GEORGE ORWELL %1129 It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. WODDY ALLEN %1130 In matters of principal, stand like a rock, in matters of taste, swim with the current. THOMAS JEFFERSON %1131 If you wish to make a man your enemy, tell him simply, "You are wrong." This method works every time. HENRY C. LINK %1132 Success is a journey, not a destination. BEN SWEETLAND %1133 In the pursuit of happiness, the difficulty lies in knowing when you have caught up. R.H. GRENVILLE %1134 The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. HERBERT SPENCER %1135 'Tis the mark of an instructed mind to rest assured with that degree of precision that the nature of the subject admits, and not to seek exactness when only an approximation of the truth is possible. ARISTOTLE %1136 It's like deja-vu, all over again. YOGI BERRA %1137 Thousands of engineers can design bridges.....,but the great engineer is the man who can tell whether the bridge.....should be built at all. EUGENE C. GRACE %1138 We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them. TITUS LIVIUS %1139 It's amazing what ordinary people can do if they set out without preconceived notions. CHARLES F. KETTERING %1140 Habit is a cable; we weave a thread of it each day, and at last we cannot break it. HORACE MANN %1141 Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish. MICHELANGELO %1142 Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward; they may be beaten, but they may start a winning game. GOETHE %1143 If you want to kill an idea, assign it to a committee for study. ANONYMOUS %1144 Nature never deceives us; it is always we who deceive ourselves. JEAN JAQUES ROUSEAU %1145 The engineer's first problem in any design situation is to discover what the problem really is. ANONYMOUS %1146 We can have facts without thinking but we cannot have thinking without facts. JOHN DEWEY %1147 Watch your step when you immediately know the one way to do anything. Nine times out of ten, there are several better ways. W. B. GIVENS, JR. %1148 Whatever one man is capable of conceiving, other men will be able to achieve. JULES VERNE %1149 Originality is just a fresh pair of eyes. W. WILSON %1150 Mathematics is the queen of the sciences. CARL FRIEDRICH GAUSS %1151 Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness. JAMES THURBER %1152 Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. OSCAR WILDE %1153 There is one rule for the industrialist and that is: Make the best quality of goods possible at the lowest cost possible, paying the highest wages possible. HENRY FORD %1154 In modern business it is not the crook who is to be feared most, it is the honest man who doesn't know what he is doing. OWEN D. YOUNG %1155 It is a socialist idea that making profits is a vice. I consider the real vice is making losses. WINSTON CHURCHILL %1156 Aluminum was once a precious metal. JULES VERNE %1157 One of the cheapest ways to design something is not to design it at all. GORDON L. GLEGG %1158 The world is divided into people who do things as they are, and those who do things as they ought to be. STOWE %1159 Be wary of the man who urges an action in which he himself incurs no risk. JOAQUIN de SETANTI %1160 The difficulty in life is the choice. GEORGE MOORE %1161 It's got to be the goin', Not the gettin' there that's good. HARRY CHAPIN %1162 A physicist is just an atom's way of looking at itself. NIELS BOHR %1163 Better is the enemy of good enough. ANONYMOUS %1164 The trouble with resisting temptation is it may never come again. ANONYMOUS %1165 Hope: Mistaking desire for probability. ANONYMOUS %1166 Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor. ROBERT FROST, "THE BLACK COTTAGE" %1167 For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision. KELVIN THROOP III %1168 I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving; To reach the port of heaven, we must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it--but we must sail, and not drift, nor lie at anchor. OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES %1169 Witchcraft always has a hard time, until it becomes respectable and changes its name. CHARLES FORT %1170 The golden rule is that there are no golden rules. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW %1171 Indifference is isolation. In difference is texture and wonder. EDWIN SCHLOSSBERG %1172 The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend. HENRI BERGSON %1173 If the lesser mind could measure the greater as a footrule can measure a pyramid, there would be finality in universal suffrage. As it is, the political problem remains unsolved. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW %1174 Change is one thing, progress is another. "Change" is scientific, "progress" is ethical; change is indubitable, whereas progress is a matter of controversy. BERTRAND RUSSEL, "UNPOPULAR ESSAYS" %1175 A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures. DANIEL WEBSTER %1176 Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought. HENRI BERGSON %1177 There is no such thing as a functional illiterate. KELVIN THROOP %1178 Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere. G.K. CHESTERTON %1179 The real world is not user-friendly. KELVIN THROOP %1180 Nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. OSCAR WILDE %1181 Life must be lived forward, but can only be understood backward. KIERKEGAARD %1182 It's what you learn after you think you know it all that counts. EARL WEAVER %1183 The aim of education is the wise use of leisure. ARISTOTLE %1184 Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat. THEODORE ROOSEVELT %1185 Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW %1186 To stimulate creativity, one must develop the childlike inclination for play and the childlike desire for recognition. ALBERT EINSTEIN %1187 In matters of belief, he who is absolutely sure he is right is almost certainly dead wrong. KELVIN THROOP %1188 More persons on the whole are humbugged by believing nothing than by believing too much. PHINEAS T. BARNUM %1189 The Earth is the cradle of human civilization, but one cannot live in the cradle forever. KONSTANTIN TSIOLKOVSKII %1190 Bureaucracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies. HONORE' de BALZAC %1191 Until now, I had never realized what beauty water adds to a river. MARK TWAIN, ON ALBUQUIRQUE %1192 You can't have everything. Where would you put it? STEPHEN WRIGHT %1193 Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious convictions. PASCAL %1194 Blaming "society" makes it awfully easy for a person of weak character to shrug off his own responsibility for his actions. STANLEY SCHMIDT %1195 Ultimately what's most lasting are those intimate moments that are so fleeting. Those magical, mystical moments where a man leaves himself and becomes one with another person. There is no witness except the person you shared it with-- a woman, a child, another man. I think if you stacked all those tender moments head to head, if you get out of life with 27 minutes like that, you're probably way ahead. LEE MARVIN %1196 Success is what people settle for when they can't think of anything noble enough to be worth failing at. LAURENCE SHAMES %1197 All women grow up to be like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No men do. That is theirs. OSCAR WILDE %1198 The only difference between the fool and the criminal who attacks a system is that the fool attacks more unpredictably and on a broader front. GUMMIGES LAWS OF COMPUTING %1199 As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. ALBERT EINSTEIN %1200 Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence. ALBERT EINSTEIN %1201 For every complex problem, there is a solution that's simple, straightforward -- and wrong. H.L. MENCKEN %1202 It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. GRACE HOPPER %1203 If it's never finished, you can't prove it doesn't work. JEFF BROWN, ARGOSYSTEMS %1204 Never leave an enemy behind or it will rise again to fly at your throat. SHAKA ZULU %1205 I hold that man is in the right who is most closely in league with the future. HEINRIK IBSEN %1206 There is a tide in the affairs of men which taken at the flood leads on to fortune. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE %1207 When the doors of perception are cleansed, man will see things as they truly are, infinite. WILLIAM BLAKE %1208 Cogito ergo sum. DESCARTE %1209 When you're up to your ass in alligators, it's hard to remember that your objective was to drain the swamp. ANONYMOUS %1210 Nature has given man one tongue and two ears, that we may hear twice as much as we speak. EPICTETUS %1211 Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim. GEORGE SANTAYANA %1212 The religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits suicide. RALPH WALDO EMERSON %1213 It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it. JOSEPH JOUBERT %1214 There are three types of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics. BENJAMIN DISRAELI %1215 As you believe, so it is for you. RICHARD BACH %1216 No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session. JUDGE GIDEON J. TUCKER %1217 I can resist anything, except temptation. OSCAR WILDE %1218 If I traveled to the end of the rainbow As Dame Fortune did intend, Murphy would be there to tell me The pot's at the other end. BERT WHITNEY %1219 A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. MARK TWAIN %1220 Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW %1221 I just need enough to tide me over until I need more. BILL HOEST %1222 Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man. TROTSKY %1223 Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. MARK TWAIN %1224 Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence... AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY" %1225 Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them. JOSEPH HELLER %1226 Justice is incidental to law and order. J. EDGAR HOOVER %1227 I can't complain, but sometimes I still do. JOE WALSH %1228 Companies should spend money keeping ahead of the competition, not suing it. JON TITUS %1229 Diplomacy -- the art of saying "Nice doggy" until you can find a stick. WYNN CATLIN %1230 Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain of being a damned fool. BELLAMY BROOKS %1231 Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy. CHARLIE MCCARTHY %1232 Hindsight is an exact science. ANONYMOUS %1233 A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW %1234 It is amusing that a virtue is made of the vice of chastity; and it's a pretty odd sort of chastity at that, which leads men straight into the sin of Onan, and girls to the waning of their colour. VOLTAIRE %1235 Now and then an innocent person is sent to the legislature. ANONYMOUS %1236 Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody is looking. H.L. MENCKEN %1237 Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. ** There's so little hope for advancement. SNOOPY (CHARLES SCHULTZ) %1238 The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. OSCAR WILDE %1239 Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY %1240 Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. W.C. FIELDS %1241 If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? ART HOPPE %1242 Enough research will tend to support your theory. MURPHY'S LAW OF RESEARCH %1243 Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for. OGDEN NASH %1244 POLITICIAN: From the Greek 'poly' ("many") and the French 'tete' ("head" or "face," as in 'tete-a-tete': head to head or face to face). Hence 'polytetien', a person of two or more faces. MARTIN PITT %1245 Hell is a city much like London--A populous and smoky city. PERCY BYSSHE SHELLY, 1819 %1246 The sky is the daily bread of the eyes. RALPH WALDO EMERSON %1247 Iron rusts from disuse; water loses its purity from stagnation and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigors of the mind. LEONARDO DA VINCI %1248 Disciplined thinking focuses inspiration rather than constricts it. ANONYMOUS %1249 In nature's infinite book of secrecy A little I can read. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE %1250 Beauty, like supreme dominion, Is but supported by opinion. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN, POOR RICHARD'S ALMANAC, 1741 %1251 Only fools and dead men don't change their minds. Fools won't. Dead men can't. JOHN H. PATTERSON %1252 Great is the art of beginning, but greater the art of ending... HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW %1253 Men are more apt to be mistaken in their generalizations than in their particular observations. MACHIAVELLI %1254 Everyone complains of his memory, but no one complains of his judgement. DUC DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD %1255 The justification of private profit is private risk. FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT %1256 Many times an economical design with a predictable life is superior to an expensive design with an indefinite life... GORDON L. GLEGG %1257 The laws of probability, so true in general, so fallacious in particular. EDWARD GIBBON %1258 Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pocket that they cannot separately plunder a third. BIERCE %1259 Justice: A decision in your favor. ANONYMOUS %1260 You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ANONYMOUS %1261 It is bad luck to be superstitious. ANDREW W. MATHIS %1262 Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved. MARK TWAIN %1263 Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to. MARK TWAIN %1264 Where humor is concerned there are no standards -- no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will. JOHN KENNETH GALBRAITH %1265 Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. GROUCHO MARX %1266 Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life. ERIC HOFFER %1267 A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others. AMBROSE BIERCE %1268 Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity. HANLON'S RAZOR %1269 Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. LILY TOMLIN %1270 Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class management. SENATOR SOAPER %1271 An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. VAN ROY'S LAW %1272 To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. WOODY ALLEN %1273 He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that. JOHN STUART MILL %1274 Genius might be described as a supreme capacity for getting it's possessors into trouble of all kinds. SAMUEL BUTLER %1275 Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions. CULLEN HIGHTOWER %1276 What is more mortifying than to feel that you have missed the plum for want of courage to shake the tree? LOGAN PEARSALL SMITH %1277 A stepping-stone can be a stumbling block if we can't see it until after we have tripped over it. CULLEN HIGHTOWER %1278 The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. ANATOLE FRANCE %1279 No object is mysterious. The mystery is in your eye. ELIZABETH BOWEN %1280 Beware of the man of one book. ST. THOMAS AQUINAS %1281 We changed with the times, so we can't blame the children for just joining the times without even having to change. WILL ROGERS %1282 He who beats his sword into a plowshare usually ends up plowing for those who kept their swords. ANONYMOUS %1283 I have never found, in a long experience of politics, that criticism is ever inhibited by ignorance. HAROLD MACMILLAN %1284 Most people want security in this world, not liberty. H.L. MENCKEN %1285 A failure is not always a mistake; it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying. B.F. SKINNER %1286 The endeavor to understand is the first and only basis of virtue. BARUCH SPINOZA %1287 Science is always simple and always profound. It is only the half-truths that are dangerous. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW %1288 We keep, in science, getting a more and more sophisticated view of our essential ignorance. WARREN WEAVER %1289 To accomplish great things, we must not only act but also dream, not only plan but also believe. ANATOLE FRANCE %1290 We sometimes get all the information, but we refuse to get the message. CULLEN HIGHTOWER %1291 Modern science has imposed on humanity the necessity for wandering. ALFRED NORTH WHITEHEAD %1292 Science has made gods of us before we were even worthy of being men. JEAN ROSTAND %1293 If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one. JOHN GALSWORTHY %1294 You can't depend on your judgement when your imagination is out of focus. MARK TWAIN %1295 Sometimes I think we're alone. Sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the thought is quite staggering. R. BUCKMINSTER FULLER %1296 Though many have tried, no one has ever yet explained away the decisive fact that science, which can do so much, cannot decide what it ought to do. JOSEPH WOOD KRUCH %1297 Let your soul stand cool and composed before a million universes. WALT WHITMAN %1298 Space is to place what eternity is to time. JOSEPH JOUBERT %1299 The simplest schoolboy is now familiar with truths for which Archimedes would have sacrificed his life. ERNEST RENAN %1300 Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone. MARK TWAIN %1301 If you chose to dance with a bear, don't stop when you get tired. OLD RUSSIAN PROVERB %1302 Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny--Did you ever try buying then without money? OGDEN NASH %1303 In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of the scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first. AMBROSE BIERCE %1304 If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem. DUCHARM'S AXIOM %1305 A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students. JOHN CIARDI %1306 The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation. OSCAR WILDE %1307 The superfluous is very necessary. VOLTAIRE %1308 Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. JULES DE GAULTIER %1309 I'm too tired to distinguish truth from reality. KEN HERRITY %1310 Idiot, n.: A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY" %1311 A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. MARK TWAIN %1312 Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good. ANONYMOUS %1313 He who Laughs, Lasts. ANONYMOUS %1314 Old soldiers never die. Young ones do. ANONYMOUS %1315 If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin' it, even if they don't know what it means. WALT KELLY %1316 Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out if it alive. ANONYMOUS %1317 Murphy's Law is recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work. ANONYMOUS %1318 It's not the size of the dog in the fight that counts, but rather the size of the fight in the dog. DWIGHT EISENHOWER %1319 It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue. VOLTAIRE %1320 "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!" LEWIS CARROLL %1321 Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. OSCAR WILDE %1322 I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. ANONYMOUS %1323 You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd. ANONYMOUS %1324 Every successful person has had failures but repeated failure is no guarantee of eventual success. ANONYMOUS %1325 Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE %1326 Pro is to con as progress is to Congress. ANONYMOUS %1327 A city is a large community where people are lonesome together. HERBERT PROCHNOW %1328 'n+1' trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same time as 'n' tasks. GRAY'S LAW OF PROGRAMMING 'n+1' trivial tasks take twice as long as 'n' trivial tasks. LOGG'S REBUTTAL TO GRAY'S LAW %1329 Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. PARKER'S LAW %1330 You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damnfoolproof. NAESER'S LAW %1331 People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it. OGDEN NASH %1332 Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. VOLTAIRE %1333 Ninety percent of everything is crud. STURGEON'S LAW %1334 Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. OSCAR WILDE %1335 Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am." AMBROSE BIERCE %1336 Information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies. RULE OF DEFACTUALIZATION %1337 The advancement of the arts, from year to year, taxes our credulity and seems to presage the arrival of that period when human improvement must end. HENRY ELSWORTH, US PATENT OFFICE, 1844 %1338 Don't be afraid to ask dumb questions. They're a lot easier to deal with than dumb mistakes. ANONYMOUS %1339 A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur coat. ANONYMOUS %1340 If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success in common hours. HENRY DAVID THOREAU %1341 Every engineer should be as simple as possible, but not simpler. RONAN CULLEN %1342 The pessimist complains about the wind; The optimist expects it to change; The realist adjusts the sails. WILLIAM ARTHUR WARD %1343 A faith-holder puts himself below his faith and lets it guide his actions. The fanatic puts himself above it and uses it as an excuse for his actions. GORDON DICKSON, "CHANTRY GUILD" %1344 It's not whether you win or loose, it's how you lay the blame. ANONYMOUS %1345 If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. MARK TWAIN %1346 Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. OLIVER'S LAW %1347 1) When in charge, ponder. 2) When in trouble, delegate. 3) When in doubt, mumble. BOREN'S LAWS %1348 1. Never be first. 2. Never be last. 3. Never volunteer for anything. LACKLAND'S LAWS %1349 Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on. WINSTON CHURCHILL %1350 Sales: Mistaking desire for profitability. SIMON FAVRE %1351 The morning sun may kiss the grass, The clock may kiss the hours that pass, The flowing wine may kiss the glass, And you, my friends --- drink hearty! ANONYMOUS %1352 Because it's there! GEORGE MOWRY, ON WHY HE CLIMBED MOUNTAINS %1353 All lies and jest, still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest. PAUL SIMON %1354 There comes a time in every man's life at lease once, and I've had plenty of them. CASEY STENGLE %1355 When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe. JOHN MUIR %1356 Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. WERNHER VON BRAUN %1357 Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. F.P. JONES %1358 There is a theory that states: "If anyone finds out what the universe is for it will disappear and be replaced by something more bizaarly inexplicable." There is another theory that states: "This has already happened...." DOUGLAS ADAMS, "THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY" %1359 Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. STEPHEN WRIGHT %1360 Bureaucracy is the art of making the possible impossible. JAVIER PASCUAL SALCEDO %1361 Critic: A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him. BIERCE %1362 America may be unique in being a country which has leapt from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization. JOHN O'HARA %1363 If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it. ANONYMOUS %1364 I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life. ANONYMOUS %1365 Behold the warranty...the bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away. ANONYMOUS %1366 The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy...neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water. ANONYMOUS %1367 Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses. H.L. MENCKEN %1368 About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends. HERBERT HOOVER %1369 The amount of work to be done increases in proportion to the amount of work already completed. VAIL'S SECOND AXIOM %1370 If you cannot convince them, confuse them. HARRY S TRUMAN %1371 There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW %1372 Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. ANONYMOUS %1373 Everything put together falls apart sooner or later. SIMON'S LAW %1374 If you take something apart, odds are you cannot get it back together again. SIMON'S COROLLARY %1375 Now is the time for all good men to come to. WALT KELLY %1376 Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. MARK TWAIN %1377 It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail. GORE VIDAL %1378 No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ELEANOR ROOSEVELT %1379 Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. OSCAR WILDE %1380 After exhausting all other possibilities, Americans can be counted upon to do what is right. WINSTON CHURCHILL %1381 We are in business to make money. Our problem is that the Japanese make money to be in business. GASCOYNE %1382 Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition. BROOKE'S SECOND LAW %1383 We must remember the First Amendment, which protects any shrill jackass, no matter how self-seeking. F.G. WITHINGTON %1384 It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for being right. ANONYMOUS %1385 Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups. WETHERN'S LAW %1386 The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been. ALAN ASHLEY-PITT %1387 Washington [D.C.] is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm. JOHN F. KENNEDY %1388 The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from. ANDREW S. TANENBAUM %1389 The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship. ROBERT HEINLEIN %1390 Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. WOODY ALLEN %1391 There were but little work left for preaching, if law and compulsion should grow so fast upon those things which hithertofore were governed only by exhortation. JOHN MILTON %1392 The reason God was able to create the world in six days is that He didn't have to worry about the installed base. ANONYMOUS %1393 Hacker, oh Hacker, Where goest thy code? Far, far away, Flushed down the commode! FAVRE %1394 Truly great madness can not be achieved without significant intelligence. HENRIK TIKKANEN %1395 If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. DEREK BOK, PRESIDENT OF HARVARD %1396 He hadn't a single redeeming vice. OSCAR WILDE %1397 I don't care who does the electing as long as I get to do the nominating. BOSS TWEED %1398 Innovation is hard to schedule. DAN FYLSTRA %1399 Every solution breeds new problems. ANONYMOUS %1400 If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error. JOHN KENNETH GALBRAITH %1401 The problem with trying to keep everything a secret is that eventually you will succeed. JEN-HSUN HUANG %1402 Investment in security continues only until someone insists on getting some real work done. ANONYMOUS %1403 Science and technology are just tools. What they do FOR you is entirely dependant on what you do WITH them. STANELY SCHMIDT %1404 Prejudice: A vagrant opinion without visible means of support. AMBROSE BIERCE %1405 I must decline your invitation owing to a subsequent engagement. OSCAR WILDE %1406 Entropy isn't what it used to be. ANONYMOUS %1407 The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. MARK TWAIN %1408 Labor, n.: One of the processes by which A acquires property for B. AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY" %1409 All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income. SAMUEL BUTLER %1410 I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. MAE WEST %1411 One seldom sees a monument to a committee. ANONYMOUS %1412 Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can. Having found them, we shall then hate them for it. EMERSONS' LAW OF CONTRARINESS %1413 Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man. BUCY'S LAW %1414 A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich and votes from the poor to protect them from each other. ANONYMOUS %1415 Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming. J.P. MCEVOY %1416 Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY" %1417 Work expands to fill the time available. PARKINSON'S LAW %1418 The older I get, the better I used to be. ANONYMOUS (SEEN ON COFFEE MUG) %1419 Miss, n.: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY" %1420 I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. GALILEO GALILEI %1421 I'd better get off the phone now, I've already told you more than I heard myself. LORETTA LOCKHORN %1422 You'll always find a tool in the last place you look. COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW %1423 If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have two of them. COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW %1424 A carelessly planned homebuilding project takes three times longer than expected to complete, a carefully planned one takes only twice as long. COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW %1425 When the need arises, the tool or object closest to you becomes a hammer. COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW %1426 The easier it is to do, the harder it is to change. COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW %1427 The first place to look for a dropped part is the last place you expect to find it. COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW %1428 A horizontal surface will soon be piled up. COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW %1429 If you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly. COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW %1430 There are two kinds of tape: The one that won't stay on, and the one that won't come off. COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW %1431 There are some things that are impossible to do, but it is impossible to know what they are. COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW %1432 No two identical parts are alike. COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW %1433 You can fool some of the people all of the time, and You can fool all of the people some of the time, but You can't fool mom. ANONYMOUS BUMPER STICKER %1434 You can pick your friends, And you can pick your nose, But you can't pick your friends' nose. ANONYMOUS %1435 We need to listen twice as much as we need to talk. That is why we have 2 ears and 1 mouth. ANONYMOUS %1436 Reputations are made by searching for things that can't be done and doing them. FRANK TYGER %1437 To teach is to learn twice. JOSEPH JOUBERT %1438 The cow is nothing but a machine which makes grass fit for us people to eat. JOHN MCNULTY %1439 Your conscience never stops you from doing anything. It just stops you from enjoying it. ANONYMOUS %1440 They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid! ANONYMOUS %1441 Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable. PLATO %1442 Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it. ANDREW YOUNG %1443 The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was. ANONYMOUS %1444 Any excuse will serve a tyrant. AESOP %1445 Every creature has within him the wild, uncontrollable urge to punt. SNOOPY %1446 The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Gives us ham and pork and Bacon. Let others think his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig. OGDEN NASH %1447 As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error. WEISERT %1448 Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing. DICK BRANDON %1449 Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned. MILTON FRIEDMAN %1450 In a hierarchy, each person rises to the level of his own incompetence. THE PETER PRINCIPLE %1451 If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost. ANONYMOUS %1452 I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't work. GALLAGHER %1453 The chief cause of problems is solutions. ANONYMOUS %1454 Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment. DUCHARME'S PRECEPT %1455 You can't start worrying about what's going to happen. You get spastic enough worrying about what's happening now. LAUREN BACALL %1456 Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. SALVOR HARDIN (ISSAC ASIMOV) %1457 I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know. MARK TWAIN %1458 If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking. LYNDON BAINES JOHNSON %1459 When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it. CLARENCE DARROW %1460 Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse. MIGUEL DE CERVANTES %1461 No good deed goes unpunished. CLARE BOOTHE LUCE %1462 He is now rising from affluence to poverty. MARK TWAIN %1463 Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY" %1464 Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to? CLARENCE DARROW %1465 To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. THOMAS EDISON %1466 I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in. GEORGE MCGOVERN %1467 As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular. OSCAR WILDE %1468 The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. And vice versa. ANONYMOUS %1469 For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill. R. CLOPTON %1470 There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy ... AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY" %1471 Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage; Those who manage what they do not understand. PUTT'S LAW %1472 The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW %1473 Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. OGDEN NASH %1474 Culture is the arts elevated to a set of beliefs. TOM WOLFE %1475 Don't confuse the water with the pump. TOM WOLFE %1476 Something there is that doesn't love a wall. ROBERT FROST, "MENDING WALL" %1477 The difference between intelligence and education is this: Intelligence will make you a good living. CHARLES F. KETTERING %1478 There are two kinds of statistics: The kind you look up and the kind you make up. REX STOUT %1479 I want to suggest to you today, that unless we have a tolerant attitude toward mistakes - I might almost say "a positive attitude toward them" - we shall be behaving irrationally, unscientifically, and unsuccessfully. Now, of course, if you now say to me, "Look here, you weird Limey, are you seriously advocating relaunching the Edsel?" I will reply, "No." There are mistakes - and mistakes. There are true, copper-bottom mistakes like spelling the word "rabbit" with three Ms; wearing a black bra under a white shirt; or, to take a more masculine example, starting a land war in Asia. These are the kind of mistakes described by Mr. David Letterman as Brushes With Stupidity, because they have no reasonable chance of success. JOHN CLEESE %1480 Faith, n: That quality which enables us to believe what we know to be untrue. BIERCE %1481 Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. CHARLIE BROWN (CHARLES SCHULTZ) %1482 Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. GROUCHO MARX %1483 Peace, n.: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting. BIERCE %1484 Misfortune, n.: The kind of fortune that never misses. BIERCE %1485 I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me. HUNTER S. THOMPSON %1486 Absent, adj.: Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered. BIERCE %1487 Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit. W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM %1488 Documentation is the castor oil of programming. Managers know it must be good because the programmers hate it so much. ANONYMOUS %1489 That secret you've been guarding, isn't. ANONYMOUS %1490 To ask permission is to seek denial. SCOTT MC NEALY %1491 All things are to be examined and called into question. There are no limits set on thought. ANONYMOUS %1492 There's nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things we don't know. BIERCE %1493 It isn't what people think that's important, but the reason they think what they think. EUGENE IONESCO %1494 Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. MARK TWAIN %1495 When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW %1496 It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. R. SERLING %1497 It is the business of little minds to shrink. CARL SANDBURG %1498 The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues. ELIZABETH TAYLOR %1499 Science is what happens when preconception meets verification. ANONYMOUS %1500 Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless. Loop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop. RANDOM SHACK DATA PROCESSING DICTIONARY %1501 If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it. THOMAS CARLYLE %1502 Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss. LAZARUS LONG, "TIME ENOUGH FOR LOVE" (HEINLEIN) %1503 It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. FRED ADLER %1504 So naturalists observe, a flea hath smaller fleas that on him prey; And these have smaller still to bite 'em; and so proceed ad infinitum. JONATHAN SWIFT %1505 I've never met a human being who would want to read 17,000 pages of documen- tation, and if there was, I'd kill him to get him out of the gene pool. JOSEPH COSTELLO, PRESIDENT OF CADENCE %1506 The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders. P.J. O'ROURKE %1507 Call on God, but row away from the rocks. INDIAN PROVERB %1508 In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office. AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY" %1509 Never worry about theory as long as the machinery does what it's supposed to do. HEINLEIN %1510 Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat. RULE 46, OXFORD UNION SOCIETY, LONDON %1511 Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having. AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY" %1512 Coward, n.: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY" %1513 My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. ABRAHAM LINCOLN %1514 Anyone can make a fortune. It takes a genius to hold onto one. JAY GOULD %1515 Work and play are words to describe the same thing under different conditions. MARK TWAIN %1516 If you want to know what a man is really like, take notice how he acts when he looses money. NEW ENGLAND PROVERB %1517 Men of power have no time to read, yet the men who do not read are unfit for power. MICHAEL FOOT %1518 The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. ROBERT FROST %1519 What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy? URSULA K. LEGUIN %1520 Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. SAMUEL GOLDWYN %1521 On the other hand, you have different fingers. STEPHEN WRIGHT %1522 Unemployment has gone from quantitative to qualitative. ALVIN TOFFLER %1523 Human capital has replaced dollar capital. MICHAEL MILKEN %1524 We were nearly one of the last to realize that in the age of information science the most expensive asset is knowledge. MIKHAIL GORBACHEV %1525 You cannot push anyone up the ladder unless he is willing to climb himself. ANDREW CARNEGIE %1526 There exist limitless opportunities in every industry. Where there is an open mind, there will always be a frontier. CHARLES F. KETTERING %1527 Necessity is the mother of taking chances. MARK TWAIN %1528 Happiness is the result of discovering that you do not have to have what you want. JAMES FLEIBLEMAN %1529 Football combines two of the worst things about American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings. GEORGE WILL %1530 In time of war, the first casualty is truth. HODDING CARTER %1531 Faith is an island in the setting sun But proof, yes proof is the bottom line for everyone. PAUL SIMON %1532 The field cannot be seen from within the field. RALPH WALDO EMERSON %1533 Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones. ANONYMOUS %1534 As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. WOODY ALLEN %1535 Vision is the art of seeing things invisible. JONATHAN SWIFT %1536 Humankind cannot stand very much reality. T.S. ELLIOT %1537 Desk-top publishing: A system of software and hardware enabling users to create documents with a cornucopia of typefaces and graphics and the intellectual content of a Formica slab. STEPHEN MANES %1538 In peace, children bury their fathers. In war, fathers bury their children. HERODOTUS %1539 Europe was created by history. America was created by philosophy. MARGARET THATCHER %1540 Getting laid off is better than not getting laid at all. BRETT ISHAM %1541 Sports serve society by providing vivid examples of excellence. GEORGE WILL %1542 What we do not understand we do not possess. GOETHE %1543 I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it. JONATHAN WINTERS %1544 George Orwell, in his vision of 1984, got it backward. We do not have to fear Big Brother watching us on TV. In times like these, we have to fear the effects of our watching Big Brother. MORTIMER B. ZUCKERMAN %1545 I was married once, to a beautiful woman. She drove me to drink. That is the one thing I am indebted to her for. W. C. FIELDS %1546 The will to perfection is absolutely the cause of so much evil. ROBERT CONQUEST %1547 Dogs are trained. People are educated. KEITH RILEY %1548 Channeling is just bad ventriloquism. You use another voice, but people can see your lips moving. PENN JILLETTE %1549 A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works....A complex system designed from scratch never works and cannot be patched up to make it work. You have to start over, beginning with a working simple system. GRADY BOOCH--OBJECT ORIENTED DESIGN %1550 A question well-asked is half answered. ANONYMOUS %1551 The most formidable weapon against errors of every kind is reason. I have never used any other, and I trust I never shall. THOMAS PAINE, "AGE OF REASON" %1552 To explain the unknown by the known is a logical procedure; to explain the known by the unknown is a form of theological lunacy. DAVID BROOKS %1553 I can't stand intolerant people. TORE ADOLFSON %1554 You simply MUST stop taking advice from other people. MELISSA TIMBERMAN %1555 To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it. G.K. CHESTERTON %1556 Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate. THOMAS F. JONES, JR. %1557 Some tortures are physical and some are mental, but the one that's both is dental. OGDEN NASH %1558 Hydrogen, n.: A light, colorless, odorless gas that, given enough time, turns into people. ANONYMOUS %1559 Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. ANONYMOUS %1560 It's easier to listen than it is to think. ANDY ROONEY, ON THE POPULARITY OF TELEVISION %1561 On one side you have book burners, Congressional wives and Pat Robertson. On the other side, you have vulgar comedians, foul-mouthed rap groups and Dennis Hopper--all your choices should be so easy. SANDRA BERNHARD %1562 God is a verb. BUCKMINSTER FULLER %1563 The stone age was marked by man's clever use of crude tools; the information age, to date, has been marked by man's crude use of clever tools. ANONYMOUS %1564 Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. LEO TOLSTOY %1565 Money is like muck, not good unless it be spread. FRANCIS BACON, "OF SEDITION AND TROUBLES" %1566 Nature cannot be commanded except by being obeyed. FRANCIS BACON, "PLAN OF THE WORKS" %1567 Scripture does not explain things by their secondary causes, but only narrates them in the order and style which has most power to move men, and especially uneducated men, to devotions.... Its object is not to convince the reason, but to attract and lay hold of the imagination. SPINOZA %1568 Love of bustle is not industry. SENECA %1569 Minds are conquered not by arms but by greatness of soul. SPINOZA %1570 Democracy becomes a government of bullies tempered by editors. RALPH WALDO EMERSON %1571 Among mankind money is far more persuasive than logical argument. EURIPEDES %1572 The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities. SOPHOCLES. %1573 All we know about the new economic world tells us that nations which train engineers will privail over those which train lawyers. No nation has ever sued its way to greatness. RICHARD LAMM %1574 Contrasting this modest effort [of Seymour Cray in his laboratory to build the CDC 6600] with 34 people including the janitor with our vast development activities, I fail to understand why we have lost our industry leadership position by letting someone else offer the world's most powerful computer. THOMAS J. WATSON, IBM PRESIDENT, 1965 It seems Mr. Watson has answered his own question. SEYMOUR CRAY %1575 Ignorance of the law is no defense, and since they'll never tell you what the law is, you're defenseless. Every business must pay protection money to lawyers. NICHOLAS VON HOFFMAN %1576 Most people would die sooner than think - in fact they do so. BERTRAND RUSSELL %1577 The glory of great men should always be measured by the means they have used to acquire it. LA ROCHEFOUCAULD %1578 Ability will never catch up with the demand for it. MALCOM FORBES %1579 Adding engineers to a late project makes it later. BROOKE'S FIRST LAW %1580 Morality is not properly the doctorine how we may make ourselves happy, but how we may make ourselves worthy of happiness. KANT %1581 Critics of utopia unite. You have nothing to lose but illusions. E.J. DIONNE %1582 A society that will trade a little liberty for a little order will lose both, and deserve neither. THOMAS JEFFERSON They that can give up an essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN %1583 We were all guilty in letting the regime function. VACLAV HAVEL %1584 An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy. WEINBERG'S COROLLARY %1585 When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision. LORD FALKLAND'S RULE %1586 Useless laws weaken the necessary laws. MONTESQUIEU %1587 Science can get along with talent, but art requires genius. WILL DURANT %1588 The world is a comedy for those who think but a tragedy for those who feel. HORACE WALPOLE %1589 These days an income is something you can't live without--or within. ZIGGY (TOM WILSON) %1590 Knowledge of the lowest kind is un-unified knowledge; science is partially-unified knowledge; philosophy is completely-unified knowledge. HERBERT W. SPENCER %1591 The eyes have one language everywhere. GEORGE HERBERT %1592 Remember that when you hear a horse, it might be a zebra. ANONYMOUS %1593 Two rights don't make a wrong, but three will get you back on the freeway. JAMES WESLEY JACKSON %1594 Everything has changed except our way of thinking. ALBERT EINSTEIN %1595 I used to really adore women, but now I've decided they really aren't much nicer than men. NORMAN MAILER %1596 The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. MARK TWAIN %1597 Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom. MARK TWAIN %1598 Love each other like brothers and sisters, and have a real good time. BILL GRAHAM %1599 The plan is nothing. The planning is everything. ANONYMOUS %1600 Anything scarce is valuable: praise, for example! ANONYMOUS %1601 It's better to burn out than to fade away. NEIL YOUNG %1602 There are women and women, and some hold you tight While some leave you counting the stars in the night. BERNIE TAUPIN %1603 If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm. VINCE LOMBARDI %1604 Everything starts as somebody's daydream. LARRY NIVEN %1605 Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. DAN STANFORD %1606 The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. PETER F. DRUCKER %1607 The arm of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. %1608 Mondays are the potholes in the road of life. TOM WILSON %1609 Change starts when someone sees the next step. WILLIAM DRAYTON %1610 At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. PLATO %1611 Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time. E.B. WHITE %1612 The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. DOUG LARSON %1613 I take a simple view of life: keep your eyes open and get on with it. LAURENCE OLIVIER %1614 The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it. RICHARD BACH %1615 Sometimes the fool who rushes in gets the job done. AL BERNSTEIN %1616 A warm smile is the universal language of kindness. WILLIAM ARTHUR WARD %1617 What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of living high. DOUG LARSON %1618 Spring appears, and we are once more children. ANONYMOUS %1619 In the race for quality, there is no finish line. DAVID T. KEARNS %1620 Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them. LADY BIRD JOHNSON %1621 A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else. LEN WEIN %1622 Money is a good servant but a bad master. FRENCH PROVERB %1623 This summer one third of the nation will be ill-housed, ill-nourished, and ill-clad. Only they call it a vacation. JOSEPH SALAK %1624 A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. MIGNON MC LAUGHLIN %1625 The impersonal hand of government can never replace the helping hand of a neighbor. HUBERT H. HUMPHREY %1626 Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. BILL COSBY %1627 A leading authority is anyone who has guessed right more than once. FRANK A. CLARK %1628 A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both. DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER %1629 There ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. MARK TWAIN %1630 Make no judgements where you have no compassion. ANNE MC CAFFREY %1631 Once you get people laughing, they're listening and you can tell them almost anything. HERB GARDNER %1632 Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most do. DALE CARNEGIE %1633 It takes a long time to grow on an old friend. JOHN LEONARD %1634 Trust in God - but tie your camel tight. PERSIAN PROVERB %1635 If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. JONATHAN WINTERS %1636 Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen. JOHN STEINBECK %1637 You can't act like a skunk without someone's getting wind of it. LORENE WORKMAN %1638 Until you make peace with what you are, you'll never be content with what you have. DORIS MORTMAN %1639 You don't have to suffer to be a poet. Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone. JOHN CIARDI %1640 Time has a wonderful way of weeding out the trivial. RICHARD BEN SAPIR %1641 Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response. MILDRED BARTHEL %1642 You never know when you're making a memory. RICKIE LEE JONES %1643 We find comfort among those who agree with us-- growth among those who don't. FRANK A. CLARK %1644 One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than 50 preaching it. KNUTE ROCKNE %1645 Cherishing children is the mark of a civilized society. JOAN GANZ COONEY %1646 A politician is a person who can make waves and then make you think he's the only one who can save the ship. IVERN BALL %1647 Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. JIM FIEBIG %1648 Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides. MARGARET THATCHER %1649 Other things may change, but we start and end with family. ANTHONY BRANDT %1650 Just remember, when you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed. CHARLES SCHULZ %1651 Christmas is the day that holds time together. ALEXANDER SMITH %1652 Discoveries are often made by not following instructions, by going off the main road, by trying the untried. FRANK TYGER %1653 Character is what you are in the dark. DWIGHT MOODY, "SERMONS" %1654 A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. P.J. O'ROURKE %1655 I have learned to use the word "impossible" with the greatest caution. WERNER VON BRAUN %1656 Nothing can keep an argument going like two persons who aren't sure what they're arguing about. O.A. BATTISTA %1657 Each man can interpret another's experience only by his own. THOREAU %1658 Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. THEODORE ROOSEVELT %1659 In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. W.D. GOUGH %1660 There is no pillow as soft as a clear conscience. FRENCH PROVERB %1661 Don't worry about opposition. Remember, a kite rises against the wind, not with it. HAMILTON WRIGHT MABIE %1662 The essence of genius is to know what to overlook. WILLIAM JAMES %1663 Nothing is worth more than this day. GOETHE %1664 Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing in the tempting place. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN %1665 So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable creature, since it enables one to find or make a reason for everything one has a mind to do. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN %1666 Luck is when opportunity meets preparation. ANONYMOUS %1667 What he labels sexual, she labels harassment. ELLEN GOODMAN %1668 Ninety percent of the game is half mental. YOGI BERRA %1669 It is seldom that any liberty is lost all at once. DAVID HUME %1670 Computer models can't prove correctness, they can only prove incorrectness. ANONYMOUS %1671 The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. CORNELIUS TACITUS %1672 In politics, an absurdity is not a handicap. NAPOLEON %1673 There is more to life than increasing its speed. MOHANDAS K. GANDHI %1674 Government investigations have always contributed more to our amusement than they have to our knowledge. WILL ROGERS %1675 Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. BILL COSBY %1676 Wisdom is that quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it. DOUG LARSON %1677 Optimism is an intellectual choice DIANA SCHNEIDER %1678 You can build a throne with bayonets, but you can't sit on it for long. BORIS YELTSIN %1679 Organic life, we are told, has developed gradually from the protozoon to the philosopher; and this development, we are assured, is indubitably an advance. Unfortunately, it is the philosopher, not the protozoon, who gives us this assurance. BERTRAND RUSSEL %1680 I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, or the Roman church, by the Greek church, by the Turkish church, by the Protestant church, nor by any church that I know of. My own mind is my own church. THOMAS PAINE %1681 We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty. EDWARD R. MURROW %1682 Making fun of born-again christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope. P.J. O'ROURKE %1683 If the obstacles of bigotry and priestcraft can be surmounted, we may hope that common sense will suffice to do everything else. THOMAS JEFFERSON %1684 Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. MARK TWAIN %1685 The motto ("In God We Trust") stated a lie. If this nation ever trusted in God, that time has gone by; for nearly half a century its entire trust has been in the Republican Party and the dollar - mainly the dollar. MARK TWAIN %1686 They all laughed at Albert Einstein. They all laughed at Columbus. Unfortunately, they also all laughed at Bozo the Clown. WILLIAM H. JEFFERYS %1687 High expectations are the key to everything. SAM WALTON %1688 One of the most dangerous forms of human error is forgetting what one is trying to achieve. PAUL NITZE %1689 When in doubt, duck. MALCOM FORBES %1690 There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. STEPHEN WRIGHT %1691 What we must decide is how we are valuable rather than how valuable we are. EDGAR Z. FRIEDENBERG %1692 No nation was ever drunk when wine was cheap. THOMAS JEFFERSON %1693 Either God exists or He doesn't. Either I believe in God or I don't. Of the four possibilities, only one is to my disadvantage. To avoid that possibility, I believe in god. PASCAL %1694 My atheism, like that of Spinoza, is true piety towards the universe and denies only gods fashioned by men in their own image to be servants of their human interests. GEORGE SANTAYANA %1695 If God made us in His image we have certianly returned the compliment. VOLTAIRE %1696 Happy is the person who can laugh at himself for he will never cease to be amused. ANONYMOUS %1697 A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs - jolted by every pebble in the road. HENRY BEECHER %1698 Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. VICTOR BORGE %1699 Humor is such a great gift - why leave it to chance? JOEL GOODMAN %1700 You can be happy or you can be miserable - the choice is yours. ANONYMOUS %1701 It is as useless to argue with those that have renounced the use and authority of reason as to administer medication to the dead. THOMAS PAINE. %1702 Those who are not shocked by quantum theory do not understand it. NEILS BOHR %1703 I don't like it (Quantum Mech.), and I'm sorry I had anything to do with it. ERWIN SCHROEDINGER %1704 Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. MARK TWAIN %1705 I have repeatedly said that in my opinion the idea of a personal God is a childlike one, but I do not share the crusading spirit of the professional atheist whose fervor is mostly due to a painful act of liberation from the fetters of religious indoctrination received in youth. I prefer an attitude of humility corresponding to the weakness of our intellectual understanding of nature and of our own being. ALBERT EINSTEIN %1706 Upon careful examination, Nostradamus will be found to have predicted EVERY significant event. However, the prediction itself cannot be understood, or even recognized, until after the event has occurred. ROBERT SHEAFFER, PAST CHAIRMAN, THE BAY AREA SKEPTICS %1707 Inspect every piece of pseudoscience and you will find a security blanket, a thumb to suck, a skirt to hold. What have we to offer in exchange? Uncertainty! Insecurity! ISAAC ASIMOV %1708 Science does not promise absolute truth, nor does it consider that such a thing necessarily exists. Science does not even promise that everything in the Universe is amenable to the scientific process. ISAAC ASIMOV %1709 We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming. WERNHER VON BRAUN %1710 True greatness consists in the use of a powerful understanding to enlighten oneself and others. VOLTAIRE %1711 All generalizations are dangerous, even this one. ALEXANDRE DUMAS %1712 If the liberties of the American people are every destroyed, they will fall by the hands of the Clergy. GENERAL MARQUIS DE LAFAYETTE, 1789 %1713 The fires of righteous indignation may yield a pleasant feeling of warmth, but they don't get the food cooked. ROBERT MATHIESEN %1714 There are two infinite things: The Universe and Human Stupidity. But the former is not certain. EINSTEIN'S CALCULUS %1715 Stupidity is much the same all the world over. JOHN STUART MILL %1716 Every generation thinks it has the answers, and every generation is humbled by nature. PHILIP LUBIN %1717 Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies. GRAUCHO MARX %1718 Critics quarrel with other critics. With an artist, no sane man quarrels. GEORGE SANTAYANA %1719 When you come to a fork in the road, take it. YOGI BERRA %1720 Mystical explanations are considered deep. The truth is that they are not even superficial. FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE %1721 When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers. OSCAR WILDE %1722 Every age and generation must be as free to act for itself, in all cases, as the ages and generations which preceeded it. THOMAS PAINE %1723 Let us permit nature to have her way; she understands her business better than we do. MONTAIGNE %1724 The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. JAMES BRANCH CABELL %1725 Meetings are indispensable when you don't want to do anything. JOHN KENNETH GALBRAITH %1726 The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits. ANONYMOUS %1727 Each of us visits this Earth involuntarily, and without an invitation. For me, it is enough to wonder at the secrets. ALBERT EINSTEIN %1728 The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it. P.J. O'ROURKE %1729 Conservative (n.) - A statesman who is enamoured of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others. AMBROCE BIERCE %1730 Liberalism is trust of the people, tempered by prudence; conservatism, distrust of people, tempered by fear. WILLIAM GLADSTONE %1731 [W]e shall continue to have a worsening ecologic crisis until we reject the Christian axiom that nature has no reason for existence save to serve man. LYNN WHITE, JR. %1732 The value of the average conversation could be enormously improved by the constant use of four simple words: "I do not know." ANDRE MAUROIS %1733 Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards. ANONYMOUS %1734 When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public property. THOMAS JEFFERSON %1735 We do not remember days; we remember moments. CAESARE PAVESE, "THE BURNING BRAND" %1736 Perfectionism is the enemy of creation, as extreme self-solicitude is the enemy of well-being. JOHN UPDIKE %1737 You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try. BEVERLY SILLS %1738 Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will. JAMES STEPHENS %1739 I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. EDITH SITWELL %1740 Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age. AMBROSE BIERCE %1741 Statistics are like bikinis: what they show is important, but what they hide is vital. ANONYMOUS %1742 It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious. OSCAR WILDE %1743 I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority. E.B. WHITE %1744 It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes. It takes more gut and gumption to forgive them for having witnessed your own. JESSAMYN WEST %1745 When two elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers. EAST AFRICAN PROVERB %1746 It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. MARK TWAIN %1747 A little philosophy inclineth man's mind to atheism, but depth in philosophy bringeth men's minds about to religion. FRANCIS BACON %1748 What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. RALPH WALSO EMERSON %1749 We have too many high-sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them. ABIGAIL ADAMS %1750 The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. MAUGHAM %1751 Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty--power is ever stealing from the many to the few. WENDELL PHILLIPS %1752 Crash programs fail because they are based on the premise that, with nine women pregnant, you'll get a baby in a month. WERNER VON BRAUN %1753 It is because the people are civilized, that they are with safety armed. JOEL BARLOW %1754 The tree of liberty must be watered periodically with the blood of tyrants and patriots alike. It is its natural manure. THOMAS JEFFERSON %1755 Swallow your pride occasionally, it's not fattening. FRANK TYGER %1756 A friend is one before whom I may think aloud. RALPH WALDO EMERSON %1757 A hero is no braver than anyone else; he is only brave five minutes longer. RALPH WALDO EMERSON %1758 Silent gratitude isn't very much use to anyone. G.B. STEIN %1759 If only God would give me a clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. WOODY ALLEN %1760 Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you stop pedaling. CLAUDE PEPPER %1761 Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. HENRY KISSINGER %1762 All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it. SAMUEL BUTLER %1763 There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result. WINSTON CHURCHILL %1764 Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed. WINSTON CHURCHILL %1765 A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. WINSTON CHURCHILL %1766 History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. WINSTON CHURCHILL %1767 As if you could kill time without injuring eternity. HENRY DAVID THOREAU %1768 A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimension. OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES %1769 Poetry begins in delight and ends in wisdom. ROBERT FROST %1770 Childhood: The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth -- two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age. AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY" %1771 I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT %1772 When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried before. MAE WEST %1773 An executive is a person who always decides; sometimes he decides correctly, but he always decides. JOHN H. PATTERSON %1774 Education: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding. AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY" %1775 Genius without education is like silver in the mine. BEN FRANKLIN %1776 An egotist is a person of low taste--more interested in himself than in me. AMBROSE BIERCE %1777 Every absurdity has a champion to defend it. ANONYMOUS %1778 A man cannot be too careful in his choice of enemies. OSCAR WILDE %1779 What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens. BENJAMIN DISRAELI %1780 If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW %1781 Laughter is the closest distance between two people. VICTOR BORGE %1782 If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it. HERODOTUS %1783 A wise man sees as much as he ought, not as much as he can. MONTAIGNE %1784 Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance. CONFUCIUS %1785 Legend --- a lie that has attained the dignity of age. H. L. MENCKEN %1786 I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear. WOODY ALLEN %1787 Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. SUSAN ERTZ %1788 Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. GEORGE BURNS %1789 By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually hasa a son who thinks he's wrong. CHARLES WADSWORTH %1790 There was never a genius without a tincture of madness. ARISTOTLE %1791 Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY" %1792 Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open. THOMAS DEWAR %1793 The intelligent man is one who has successfully fulfilled many accomplishments, and is yet willing to learn more. ED PARKER %1794 Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW %1795 Some minds are like concrete - all mixed up and permanently set. ANONYMOUS %1796 Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain. AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY" %1797 We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but Congress can. CULLEN HIGHTOWER %1798 Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories. ARTHUR C. CLARKE %1799 I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. WILL ROGERS %1800 Our elections are free --- it's in the results where eventually we pay. BILL STERN %1801 By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me. ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT %1802 Christian: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin. AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY" %1803 An apology for the devil:it must be remembered that we have heard one side of the case. God has written all the books. SAMUEL BUTLER %1804 My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind. ALBERT EINSTEIN %1805 Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. GOETHE %1806 The folly of mistaking a paradox for a discovery, a metaphor for a proof, a torrent of verbiage for a spring of capital truths, and oneself for an oracle, is inborn in us. PAUL VALE'RY, 1895 %1807 Argue for your limitations and sure enough they're yours. RICHARD BACH %1808 Do, or do not. There is no try. YODA %1809 The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. NIELS BOHR %1810 The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible. ALBERT EINSTEIN %1811 Natural laws have not pity. ANONYMOUS %1812 Three may keep a secret, if two are dead. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN %1813 We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. OSCAR WILDE %1814 If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly. ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT %1815 Man tends to root for the underdog, because he fears that he will find himself in that same position far too often. MICHAEL S. ROSENBERG %1816 Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death. JAMES F. BYRNES %1817 Mediocrity requires aloofness to preserve its dignity. CHARLES G. DAWES %1818 No one ever listened himself out of a job. CALVIN COOLIDGE %1819 Few people are successful unless a lot of other people want them to be. CHARLES BROWER %1820 We have deep depth. YOGI BERRA %1821 We made too many wrong mistakes. YOGI BERRA %1822 All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. CASEY STENGEL %1823 A halo has to fall only a few inches to become a noose. FARMERS ALMANAC %1824 To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful. BESS MYERSON %1825 The road uphill and the road downhill are one and the same. HERACLITUS %1826 There are very few people who are not ashamed of having been in love when they no longer love each other. FRANCOIS, DUC DE LA ROUCHEFOUCALD %1827 The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands. ALEXANDER PENNEY %1828 Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom. HANNAH ARENDT %1829 Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. W.H. AUDEN %1830 Many a man's tounge broke his nose. SEUMAS MACMANUS %1831 The Bible is not my book, and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long, complicated statements of Christian dogma. ABRAHAM LINCOLN %1832 The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion. GEORGE WASHINGTON %1833 It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to. BILL CLINTON %1834 The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness. JOHN KENNETH GALBRAITH %1835 Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives. JOHN STUART MILL %1836 Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence JOHN ADAMS %1837 Icky icky icky icky fKANG zoop-boing n zowzyin... THE KNIGHTS WHO SO RECENTLY SAID "NEE!" %1838 For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. 2 TIMOTHY 4:3-4 %1839 Revenge is a dish which people of taste serve cold. SICILIAN (OR KLINGON) PROVERB %1840 Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and torturous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness, with which more than half the bible is filled, it would seem more consistent that we called it the word of a demon than the Word of God. It is a history of wickedness that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind. THOMAS PAINE %1841 Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. GEORGE SANTAYANA %1842 Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. RALPH WALDO EMERSON %1843 I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself. ALDOUS HUXLEY %1844 Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise. SIGMUND FREUD %1845 I know but one freedom, and that is the freedom of the mind. ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPERY %1846 Men do not desire to be rich, but to be richer than other men. JOHN STUART MILL %1847 Love cures people--both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it. KARL MENNINGER %1848 It matters if you don't just give up. STEPHEN HAWKING %1849 It's better to give than to lend, and it costs about the same. SIR PHILIP GIBBS %1850 I am convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile TOM C. CLARK %1851 No one goes there anymore -- it's too crowded. YOGI BERRA %1852 The best proof of love is trust. DR. JOYCE BROTHERS %1853 You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play. WARREN BEATTY %1854 The whisper of a pretty girl can be heard further than the roar of a lion. ARAB PROVERB %1855 Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. ANONYMOUS %1856 In waking a tiger, use a long stick. MAO TSE-TUNG %1857 There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW %1858 Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. OSCAR WILDE %1859 The trouble with our age is it's all signposts and no destination. LOIUS KRONENBERGER %1860 The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant. This also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change. FORTRAN MANUAL FOR XEROX COMPUTERS %1861 A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesman and philosophers and divines. RALPH WALDO EMERSON %1862 Sooner or later, you've heard about all that your best friends have to say. Then comes the tolerance of real love. NED ROREM %1863 We shall always keep a spare corner in our heads to give passing hospitality to our friends' opinions. JOSEPH JOUBERT %1864 People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. BOB HOPE %1865 The man who believes he can do it is probably right. HELVETIUS %1866 A word to the wise is unnecessary. LA ROUCHEFOUCAULD %1867 A lie has speed, but truth has endurance. EDGAR J. MOHN %1868 The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another. The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month. HENRY VAN DYKE %1869 Fable is more historical than fact, because fact tells us about one man and fable tells us about a million men. G.K. CHESTERTON %1870 There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the emotions of an audience not practiced in the tricks and illusions of oratory. MARK TWAIN %1871 Politicians say they're beefing up our economy. Most don't know beef from pork. HAROLD LOWMAN %1872 It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves. EDMUND HILLARY %1873 Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness. CULLEN HIGHTOWER %1874 In the long run, men only hit what they aim at. HENRY DAVID THOREAU %1875 We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. EDUARDO GALEANO %1876 There's no fool like an old fool --- you can't beat experience. JACOB BRAUDE %1877 Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it GORDON R. DICKSON %1878 Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong. DANDEMIS %1879 The man who does not read good books is at no advantage over the man that can't read them. MARK TWAIN %1880 This is patently absurd; but whoever wishes to become a philosopher must learn not to be frightened by absurdities. BERTRAND RUSSELL %1881 There are three ways to get something done: 1) Do it yourself 2) Hire someone to do it for you 3) Forbid you kids from doing it ANONYMOUS %1882 When men lack a sense of awe, there will be disaster. LAO TSE, TAO TE CHING: 72 %1883 God created sex. Priests created marriage. VOLTAIRE %1884 Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. RALPH WALDO EMERSON %1885 When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. MAE WEST %1886 As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being. C. G. JUNG %1887 Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others. ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON %1888 I have tried too in my time to be a philosopher; but I don't know how, cheerfulness was always breaking in. OLIVER EDWARDS %1889 If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. MARCUS AURELIUS %1890 Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet. FRENCH PROVERB %1891 The proverb warns that "You should not bite the hand that feeds you." But maybe you should if it prevents you from feeding yourself. THOMAS SZASZ %1892 Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. SAMUEL BUTLER %1893 Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem. (Entities must not be multiplied beyond necessity.) OCCAM'S RAZOR %1894 If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't. LYALL WATSON %1895 The mountain remains unmoved at seeming defeat by the mist. RABINDRANATH TAGORE %1896 In the part of this universe that we know there is great injustice, and often the good suffer, and often the wicked prosper, and one hardly knows which of those is the more annoying. BERTRAND RUSSELL %1897 You always pass failure on your way to success. MICKEY ROONEY %1898 America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damn well please. P.J. O'ROURKE %1899 Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before. ART BUCHWALD %1900 The only way to have a friend is to be one. RALPH WALDO EMERSON %1901 Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit ther WILL ROGERS %1902 How should one deal with a man who is convinced that he is acting according to God's will, and who therefore believes that he is doing you a favour by stabbing you in the back? VOLTAIRE %1903 The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be happy - I mean that if you are happy you will be good. BERTRAND RUSSEL %1904 Unfalsifiable propositions are not amenable to any method at all. If there were, then religions would be able to find a way to resolve internal conflicts over differing versions of their unfalsifiables without resorting to schism, excommunication, torture, or jihad. In science, however, there are no permanent schisms, because there is a recognized final court of appeal, namely the universe itself. ANONYMOUS %1905 The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and have it found out by accident. CHARLES LAMB %1906 One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ALBERT SCHWEITZER %1907 No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. AESOP %1908 Creative minds have always been known to survive any kind of bad training. ANNA FREUD %1909 Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. HENRY WARD BEECHER %1910 Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy. FRANZ KAFKA %1911 Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE: THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY %1912 When a man is single, he's incomplete; but when a man gets married, he's finished. ANONYMOUS %1913 There is the greatest practical benefit in making a few failures early in life. THOMAS HUXLEY %1914 Chivilization is a method of living, an attitude of equal respect for all men. JANE ADDAMS %1915 Every guilty person is his own hangman. SENECA %1916 A man's silence is wonderful to listen to. THOMAS HARDY %1917 If a man has done his best, what else is there? GEORGE PATTON %1918 Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right. HENRY FORD %1919 For the skeptic there remains only one consolation: if there should be such a thing as superhuman law it is administered with subhuman inefficiency. ERIC AMBLER %1920 The average man who does not know what to do with his life, wants another one which will last forever. ANATOLE FRANCE %1921 There is no such whetstone, to sharpen a good wit and encourage a will to learning, as is praise. ROGER ASCHAM